I’ve gone to several high school reunions in my home town of Ruidoso. At each one of them, someone brings up one of the more embarrassing moments of my school days.
Do they remember the game saving tackle I made in our football battle against arch-rival Capitan in October of 1964? Did they remember my stellar performance in the Senior Class Play that (in my mind) was worthy of an Oscar? Did they remember that the Future Homemakers of America picked me for best groomed hair in high school? (Well okay, that last one was a bit dubious.)
No, they don’t remember those and many other high high points in my school days. What they remember was something really dumb that I did in fourth grade when i accidentally got my head stuck in a school desk during a 4th grade class. Yes, it’s true.
I’m not sure why on that particular January day in Mrs. Hawkins class I decided to poke my neck through the opening between the metal support bar on the right side of the desk and the seat. I seemed to be functioning normally in class when a five-amp fuse in my brain must have blown and made me wonder if my head could fit somewhere it was not supposed to go. So while Mrs. Hawkins was scribbling something instructional on the chalkboard, I got out of my seat, lurched sideways and forced my head into an unlikely receptacle. (My wife says she was not surprised to learn about this incident because I’ve probably been a little bit ADD and fidgety all my life.) At any rate, once my head went into the tight opening during the previously uneventful classroom session, I discovered that I could not extricate it. As my fellow students began sniggling and chuckling at my stupidity and misfortune, I let out a yowl that frightened Mrs. Hawkins and was heard all the way down the hall in the office of our principal, Mr. Bruce.
Mr. Bruce quickly summoned our school janitor, Mr. Fox, who soon arrived on the scene with a set of wrenches. Mr. Fox was an amiable old guy who always wore a black bow tie with his monochrome gray pants and shirt that reflected his usual unemotional demeanor. But even he conjured up a smile and a chuckle when he saw my predicament and foolishness.
With a few twists of a wrench, the metal bar was disconnected and I could remove my head from the trap and return to classroom activities. Needless to say, however, the classroom never quite recovered that day from the excitement, with my fellow students anxious to ride home on the bus to tell their parents what a ridiculous thing I had done. Decades later, I am still remembered for that incident.
I mention this because a story in the news last week explained that a cow elk in my old home town of Ruidoso had somehow entangled its head in a metal chair or bar stool it found outside a home.
Several people spotted the forlorn animal, photographed it and reported it to the New Mexico Game & Fish Department. That agency was able to track it down last week and tranquilize the animal to remove the unwanted bit of furniture. The animal recovered and is doing okay.
What was interesting to me about the story is that the Game and Fish Department said there had been no less that three similar incidents last January.
“This incident is not the first time an elk has found itself tangled up in outdoor furniture,” the Albuquerque Journal reported. “According to Game and Fish, ‘In January 2024, officers captured and removed lawn furniture from three cow elk in the course of one week.'”
After reading that, it became suspicious that there may be some kind of evil vortex that swirls around during the month of January in the Ruidoso area which makes hapless animals and dim-witted humans like me want to stick their heads in unusual nooks and crannies in furniture. However, I’m hoping this oddity can just be blamed on misguided curiosity and fidgety behavior.
And I’m sorry, Mrs. Hawkins, that I disrupted your class that day.
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