Author Archives: Patrick Lamb

The Albuquerque Journal has been writing stories in recent weeks about controversy over a plan to build a mortuary/creamatorium in the north valley just west of Balloon Fiesta Park. Area residents have become alarmed that the facility will emit toxic and unwelcome smells, noting that a nearby animal rendering facility/crematorium nearby is already making theContinue reading “Was that Uncle Vern we smelled at 500 feet above Balloon Fiesta Park???”

I stumbled upon a recent article in the Wall Street Journal which had the startling headline: “I Hate Doodle Dogs”: Endless Poodle Hybrids Spark Backlash “The ultra-popular pets have driven a wedge between owners, breeders and people who say they’re tired of seeing the pooches everywhere“ The story says the growing popularity of the crossContinue reading “Shamed by our dog Chester…”

Imagine that your family has agreed to meet at noon at the bridge over the Rio Grande on Central in Albuquerque to gently toss the ashes of your beloved Uncle Vern into the turgid waters below. Everyone shows up, including Cousin Louie, who was charged with picking up the urn of ashes from the mortuaryContinue reading “Wait, I thought YOU had Uncle Vern’s ashes…”

A friend of mine once commented that most vehicles sold in the used car market in New Mexico could correctly be advertised as having turn signals that were “never used.” I guess it means you don’t have to budget much for replacement of turn signal bulbs. I’m sure many of us who have endangered ourContinue reading “We don’t seem to use turn signals much in New Mexico, but blind drivers can go more than 211 miles per hour here…”

Yes, it’s Mexican bologna time again for my blog. This time, the topic was triggered by a segment of the March 19, 2022, National Public Radio program “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” The highly popular comedy show takes on events from the previous week, skewering both the left and the right, the pompous, the famous,Continue reading “I’ve been vindicated. Smuggled Mexican bologna IS in fact “funny.””

New Mexico’s law allowing sale of recreational marijuana went into effect on Friday, April 1. It also coincided with April Fools Day, which I thought was kind of humorous in itself. One enterprising New Mexico business apparently saw the connection and offered up a clever item to commemorate the event. My daughter sent me aContinue reading “Weed…”

Our son ‘s family visited us in Las Cruces last week. Their two sons, age eight and six, kept us very busy and entertained during their stay, not to mention leaving us a bit exhausted at the end of the visit. Max, the eight year old, gave us a particularly humorous insight when I gaveContinue reading “Generational disconnect…”

You have to feel sorry for alligators who have to live in New Mexico. They really couldn’t make it through our cold winters if it wasn’t for artificially heated water for them to swim in. Take, for example, Wally, the Clovis Zoo’s long-time resident American Alligator. Last month, Wally’s heated pool became a little tooContinue reading “Temporarily kicked out of Wally World…”

A story out of northern New Mexico last week reported that a man had absconded with a $150 bottle of French Champagne that he had snatched from the back of a golf cart at an upscale resort near Santa Fe. The bottle of “Beau Joie curvee Champagne” was en route to a guest at theContinue reading “It’s not that bad…”

My wife and I first visited Slot Canyon north of Radium Springs more than two years ago. I talked about it in a Dec. 14, 2020 blog, saying I felt like I was on the set of an Indiana Jones movie when we trekked through the steep-walled canyon carved out by years of rushing floodContinue reading “Slot Canyon revisited…”

I’m sure you’re getting tired of this from me by now. Four posts this year about smuggling bologna into the United States from Mexico. Well, it seems other edible items have been on the list of things you shouldn’t smuggle into New Mexico. Yep, chile. When looking for articles about German submarines coming up theContinue reading “If not bologna, how about chile?”

Las Cruces High School battled Albuquerque’s Volcano Vista High School last Saturday in the quest for New Mexico’s 5A high school basketball championship. Unfortunately for us southern New Mexico residents, the Bulldawgs lost an overtime contest 66-55 in what was described as a thriller of a game between the state’s only two undefeated top basketballContinue reading “Couldn’t touch him with a seven-foot pole…”

I’ve owned and driven BMWs for almost 50 years. I know — expensive to buy, expensive to repair and a bit obnoxious. But great to drive. I gained a little more respect for the brand when I spotted this on the internet Monday. It’s a story about two guys in the Ukraine who retrofitted theirContinue reading “Better than a James Bond ride…”

Who says the federal government doesn’t have a sense of humor. Well me, for one. This blaring headline showed up in the Albuquerque Journal last week: “Officials: ‘Nothing funny” about bologna smuggling.” The story quoted an official of the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol from El Paso as saying that smuggled balogna could bring inContinue reading “I guess I touched a nerve…”