The weird thing they would find at our house are Barbie toes…

In 2006, while excavating an area for the new Sweeney Convention Center in downtown Santa Fe, archaeologists found an unusual mix of items that had been tossed down a communal outhouse.

As expected, there were many bottles of liquor, medicine (probably mostly alcohol) and laxatives (again, probably mostly alcohol) that had been dropped in the latrine. There were no reports of finding old handguns or rifles, although I’ve read those kinds of things show up frequently when archaeologist dig through old outhouses.

What was unusual, however, were the numerous broken off heads of several China dolls. The rest of the dolls’ bodies could not be found in the contents of the toilets. Perhaps some twisted souls were reenacting the fate of Maximilien Robespierre.

Which brings me to Barbie. I think most young girls have at one time or another have given gruesome haircuts to their favorite dolls. Our daughter did that too, but she was particularly brutal to Barbie dolls. 

Parents sometimes think their kids’ toys — Star Wars action figures, baseball cards, Cabbage Patch dolls, etc. — will turn into a valuable investment at some time in the future. Of course, the most valuable toys are those that are still in their original packaging or very lightly used.

Our daughter’s Barbie dolls, however, could never achieve that pristine classification. For some reason, many of their tiny rubbery toes were chewed off during the time she played with them. I’m sure it was just a teething issue, and not something like what was going with those China dolls found in the Santa Fe privy.

So I’m imagining the day when forensic archaeologists dig through the rubble of our house and find either Barbie dolls with their toes chewed off or perhaps the little nubby toes themselves. 

Okay readers, it’s time to ‘fess up about what weird things you did to your dolls, Star Wars figures, stuffed animals or Hot Wheels while growing up. I may put them in a post — without naming you, of course.