What we really wanted to say…

Last week’s spectacular explosion of Elon Musk’s SpaceX rocket was described by company officials as a “rapid unscheduled disassembly.”

Wow, what a creative way to explain a disaster.

But Musk apparently saw the failure as a way to learn more about how to prevent a future multi-million dollar fireworks display. It was Thomas Edison, who said after thousands of failed attemps to create a light bulb:“I know of over 3,000 ways [that] a light bulb does not work.” It also helps to have a good wordsmith at hand when things go wrong.

It made me think of some euphemistic and creative ways we might describe things in New Mexico — for example:

“Rapid horizontal displacement of dirt and sand” — a New Mexico spring windstorm

“Intentional obfuscation of vector change intention in a vehicular mode” — failure to use a turn signal in your New Mexico car or truck.

“Exponential production of hot air” — no, not the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, but the New Mexico Legislature in session.

“Intense downward vertical dissemination of water accompanied by high voltage electrical discharges” — a New Mexico monsoon season thunderstorm.

“Invasion of non-native species with distinctive dialect and lack of taste” — Texas tourists visiting Santa Fe, Taos, Ruidoso, etc.

“Hand crafted accoutrements made from native sand, brown paper and religious candles to celebrate festive occasion” — Christmas luminarias.

“Ubiquitous mood alteration centers” — cannabis dispensaries around New Mexico.

“Capsicum infused edible pod with genetic color transition over time. Also know for triggering whimsical state legislation” — red and green chile.

“Rolling seed disbursement plant mechanism” — tumbleweed.

“Foreign nation celebration observed in New Mexico involving mass consumption of tequila but having nothing to do with mayonnaise” — Cinco de Mayo.

If you think of others, I’ll include them in a future post.

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