Some of you may remember the 2014 World Cup soccer match when professional footballer Luis Suarez, representing his home nation of Uruguay, bit the shoulder of an Italian player. It turns out that Suarez, actually a very talented player, had bitten opponents at least two other times in his professional career.
The 2014 bite seen round the world prompted one great joke which was “What’s for lunch? — Italian!”
Okay, that was tacky. But a year later, a woman in Albuquerque must have had some inspiration from Suarez when, during a fight with her boyfriend, nipped off a chunk of his ear.
When police arrived to the scene of the fracas, the woman presented officers with the chunk of her boyfriend’s ear. Perhaps it was in hopes that the court might view her retrieval of the severed part as a conciliatory gesture to receive a milder sentence. Or maybe she didn’t have enough Tabasco sauce to make it a meal. Okay, that was tacky too. I’ll try to write something more uplifting next time.