In 2013, a man entered a Mexican restaurant in Deming and announced it was a stick-up. He then grabbed the cash register but as he headed for the door, the hostess spotted a potential weapon to stop his escape — an empanada. She hurled the split fingered dough ball at the fleeing robber and tagged him squarely in the back of his head. There were no radar units available at the restaurant, so we don’t know how fast her pitch was.
He responded by dropping the cash register and holding an arm over his head to prevent injury from further flying pastries and fast pitches.
Unfortunately that same year, Dona Ana County Sheriff’s Deputies did not have access to an empanada to stop an intoxicated man who had tried to break into his mother’s mobile home. Despite being spritzed with pepper spray, the man attempted to run away but managed to snatch a pine cone from a nearby tree and served up a wobbly conifer knuckle ball at the deputy. It hit the officer smartly in his ear. He was ultimately subdued and arrested for, among other things, assault on a police officer.
What this tells me is there are some pretty promising recruits for relief pitchers in New Mexico. Except that one of them is still probably in jail.