Officially, official New Mexico stuff…

You’ve probably been reading or hearing a lot lately about the New Mexico Legislature’s designation of roasting green and red chile as the official aroma of our state. The legislation drew criticism from some who said our lawmakers needed to focus on more important issues than the odiferous offering that seems to be unique in our state every fall.

At any rate, the legislation has been signed into law by our governor, joining such things as the bolo tie as the official state neckware, the tarantula wasp as the official state insect and “red or green” as the official state question.

I had suggested other states adopt an official state aroma. For Texas, it could be the smell of West Texas sweet crude wafting across the Permian Basin. For Nebraska, the earthy notes of feedlots. For New York, the unmistakable odor of a subway. I was disappointed that I had no takers.

Undaunted, I have decided to offer our lawmakers another list of suggested “official” state items or experiences to be considered at the next session of the legislature. Here goes:

The official state dog: A cross between a Chihuahua and a Pit Bull.

The official building material: Adobe bricks.

The official noxious weed: Tumbleweed.

The official weather phenomina: Howling spring winds.

The official car repair kit: Bailing wire, duct tape, WD-40 Vice Grips and a hammer.

The official home repair kit: Bailing wire, duct tape, WD-40, Vice Grips and a hammer

The official dwelling: Mobile home with old tires on the roof.

Did you know New Mexico has the fourth largest number of mobile homes (or manufactured housing for those PC among us) per capita in the nation? We are outranked only by South Carolina, Mississippi and West Vergina.

The official traffic sign: Orange barrel

Official car: Lowrider

Official truck: Old Ford F-150 with multiple dents, fading paint and mismatched aftermarket wheels.

They’re everywhere.

The official medical malady: Springtime allergies.

The official state hamburger: It used to be Lota Burger until they started making the Lota Burger and the Itsa Burger the same size.

The official front yard decoration: Gravel, weeds and rusting ’82 Camaro on blocks.

The official state Christmas decoration: A paper lunch sack filled with sand and a candle.

And the official small business: Either a Mexican food restaurant or a marijuana dispensary. Wait — I’ve just come up with something brilliant. A combination of the two!!! I think I’ll start a chain:

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