Buttload, Version 2.0…

You may remember my recent blog about the fact that “buttload” is an accepted term for a measurement.

Here is is, if you need to refresh your memory: https://aero-cordero.com/2020/11/25/a-brief-diversion-into-almost-bathroom-humor/

Well, someone in Albuquerque took this term to a new level about two years ago.

A man riding a motorcycle was pulled over by a Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Deputy because the vehicle did not display a license plate. The suspect was handcuffed in preparation for a trip to the county jail. Then, in an extremely contorted maneuver, he managed to pluck a plastic bag of 44 loose diamonds he had stuffed into his posterior region, while still wearing the handcuffs. The suspect was apparently hoping to toss the diamonds away before the sheriff could see what he was doing. But something didn’t “smell right” to the astonished deputy when he witnessed the awkward attempt as the items were removed from the “intergluteal cleft.” (Yes, that’s the proper anatomical term.)

Image result for loose diamonds
Loose diamonds, hopefully before they were “hidden” by the suspect

Frequently, criminals hide drugs in this particular location of their body to avoid their detection by authorities. The deputy concluded that the diamonds must have been contraband and promptly tacked another charge onto the motorcyclist’s arrest sheet.

Think about it — the suspect could have covered his butt if he had just put a license plate on his ride. And I’m sure the deputy was glad he didn’t have to do a body cavity search. He might have found crack, however. (Okay, I can hear your groans from here — sorry.)

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