Maybe the ability to construct a comprehendible sentence should be a requirement for dog ownership…

In the Sunday Albuquerque Journal want-ad section under “purebred dogs” was this confusing appeal:

WANTED WOMEN TO BUY

White German Shepherd or Black and Silver. We lost our pretty baby will be trained to be a service dog for an autistic boy.

(505) XXX-XXXX

Okay, I think I understand the desired outcome of this bunch of gibberish, but it still leaves a lot to ponder.

What type of crime has prompted authorities to classify these women as “wanted?” Possibly for receiving an F in English composition in school? Rampant improper capitalization? Failure to use proper punctuation? Why was the “pretty baby” lost?” Doesn’t that raise an alarm that a new dog might just as easily disappear? And why is the color of the dog so important?

As an aside, the proper name for this breed is German shepherd dog — the word “dog” as an important part of the breed’s nomenclature. Look it up. That’s always been confusing to me as I doubt someone would be able to mistake one of these magnificent animals as a cat or a lemur.

Here’s something else to ponder in these days of political correctness. The breed that was indeed first bred in Germany was renamed in Great Britain after World War I as the “Alsatian Wolf Dog.” In 1977 its name was changed back to German shepherd dog. If Australia had been an enemy of Great Britain, would the Australian sheep dog have been renamed the Aboriginal mutton manager?

At any rate, I hope some sympathetic reader can sort through the confusing message and provide a nice pooch for the autistic boy. And perhaps in the meantime, the author should attend a remedial English composition class.

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