Some of you might remember the Weird Al Yankovic parody of Michael Jackson’s hit pop song “Bad.” In the Yankovic version called “Fat,” an enormous man becomes even more enormous while complaining about the effects of continuously stuffing his face with food. “If I have one more pie alamode,” he laments, “I’m going to need my own zip code.”
In 2017, Police in Albuquerque arrested a man who might have been the inspiration for Yanovic’s song. The large suspect was sought for his role in at least 47 store robberies, many of which involved fast food joints. On one occasion, he picked up a couple of slices of pizza from a Pizza Hut during the heist and on another, ordered the terrified staff of a Taco Bell to prepare two tacos for him while he finished digging through the cash drawers.
There were plenty of security videos of the easy to identify suspect waddling in and out of his target stores. Witnesses to the robberies also added insult to injury when they consistently described him as being obscenely overweight. One witness said his face had so many layers of fat that he looked like a Shar-Pei dog.
He was finally captured after a robbery when he tried to lumber away from approaching police and jumped into his getaway car — only to discover that he was too fat to close the door. Police said even with the door only partially closed, the upper part of his body was extruded out the driver’s side window.
Two thoughts. A fixation for food and robbery at the same time don’t seem to be a good mix. And maybe he needed to re-evaluate his getaway vehicle and consider a semi, dump truck or front-end loader.