Author Archives: Patrick Lamb

Let me begin this post by saying I am not a fan of Chihuahua dogs. I’ve been bitten, barked at, charged, herded and growled at many times by the breed. A friend of ours in the neighborhood once told me that the canine breed most likely to bite a human is a Chihuahua. They justContinue reading “Ay Chihuahua!!!”

I read, with equal doses of amusement and astonishment, an op-ed piece in the Albuquerque Journal a few weeks ago about one man’s idea to build a pipeline from Lousiana to Lake Mead to transport water from the Mississippi to the Colorado River basin. The plan, put forward by a retired engineer from California, suggestedContinue reading “Gators in Lake Mead…”

I always look forward to the Albuquerque Journal’s annual “Cow Chip” awards for humorous things that have happened in New Mexico during the past year. I’ve used the awards for fodder for several of my blogs in the past. Many of this year’s Cow Chips had a political angle, which could be expected given thatContinue reading “Cow chips and Dave Barry…”

By that, I mean a visit from your grandchildren. We were fortunate to have all four of our grandchildren visiting us over the holidays. They are ages nine, eight, seven and three. They kept us busy and I’m hoping we will recover from exhaustion by sometime next June. In what all of us could seeContinue reading “The gift that keeps on giving…”

I wrote this for my grandchildren last year, but I can’t take complete credit for all of it. I borrowed some wording and thoughts from similar New Mexico interpretations of “The Night Before Christmas.”  At any rate, it makes me realize how fortunate we are to live in a place that has so many multi-culturalContinue reading “An Aero-Cordero Christmas…”

You might recall a blog I wrote recently about the cannabis store in Las Cruces that has plans to be open 24 hours a day. I lamented that you couldn’t get a flat tire fixed at 3 in the morning, but you could get pot at that time. Well, I discovered a new twist onContinue reading “Follow-ups…”

Yes, this sad looking Lockheed Jetstar that is wasting away on the tarmac of the Roswell Industrial Air Center airport, was once owned by “The King” — Elvis Presley. But it could be yours, for the right amount of money — probably lots of it. Here’s the story. In my previous life as a bankContinue reading “You aint nothin’ but a hound dog (of an airplane)…”

My wife received a letter last week from a law firm claiming to be from Toronto, Canada, saying it had discovered an unclaimed $9.87 million life insurance policy. And guess what, my wife might be entitled to it since she has a long-lost relative named Adrianna Lamb who “died in an accident” in Montreal. NeverContinue reading “Just send numbers for your bank account, credit card and Social Security and they’ll split the $9.87 million with you…”

So I walked into a business last week with my wife and immediately felt out of place. I guess it was sort of a sexist response, but I would have expected to feel that way at other locations where I’ve accompanied my wife. No, it wasn’t the women’s intimate apparel section of Victoria’s Secret. No,Continue reading “A fish out of water…”

You may have seen the meme about “Florida Man,” which has been floating around the internet since 2013. It’s usually a story about some deranged person living in Florida doing something incredibly stupid. The following are some actual headlines: “Florida man arrested for practicing karate by kicking swans in the head.” “Florida man changed withContinue reading ““Florida Man” can’t compete with “Loving Man…””

Imagine that you’re planning a driving trip to the West Coast and want to leave right after midnight so you can avoid traffic congestion in Phoenix and Los Angeles along the route you’ve chosen. You’ve loaded up the car with your luggage and other items the evening before so it will be a quick exitContinue reading “But what if I need someone to fix a flat tire at 1 a.m.???”

I know all of you are busy getting ready for a big Thanksgiving feast, so I’ll keep this short. For several years, Thanksgiving became a bad luck day for me. This mostly happened when I was much younger and I think the stigma has gone away. For example, one year I was playing in someContinue reading “It’s a great day if you’re not a turkey — or me…”

Police in Albuquerque are searching for two armed robbers who came into a Halloween store before the holiday and forgot something essential for someone contemplating such a crime. A mask. The store was probably full of them, but the armed robbers apparently were clueless about security cameras in place and allowed their faces to beContinue reading “Another Halloween tale…”

A befuddled bicycle rider recently wrote to the Albuquerque Journal concerning the sudden appearance of spiders painted on bike lanes in the city. “Riding my bicycle throughout the city, I have spotted stenciled spiders in various colors in the bike lanes,” the note to the Journal said. “I was thinking they were some kind ofContinue reading “A little late for Halloween…”