Letting someone else have a turn…

I always look forward to the Albuquerque Journal’s annual Cowchip awards, published at the end of the year to document many goofy things that have happened in the state during the past 365 days. I’ve often used these stories from years past as fodder for my own blog. And I’ve also written about some of these things before they made the current year’s Cowchip list.

In case you haven’t read it, I’m enclosing a link to the list this year and hope you enjoy it. It just goes to confirm my basic premise of “Why I Love New Mexico” as the foundation for my blog.

https://www.abqjournal.com/2457884/2021-cowchips-from-a-flying-sex-toy-to-a-motel-with-meth-on-tap-mind-where-you-step.html

Another one of my favorite reads at the end of the year is humorist Dave Barry’s Year in Review. It is usually published in the Albuquerque Journal, but I didn’t find it this year. However, I did find it in the Washington Post and am enclosing a link to it. Barry skewers everyone for dumb things that happened during the year — Democrats,  Republicans, government officials, corporations, do-gooders and the like are all treated with equal irreverence. I hope you’ll enjoy it and not be too offended if your political leanings or your pet projects get thrown under the bus. With all the insanity going on in our country right now, sometimes it’s good to just laugh at ourselves.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2021/12/26/dave-barrys-year-review-2021/

Even better than the burgers…

It’s a legendary road house in central New Mexico. Many people who have traveled on I-25 between Albuquerque and Las Cruces have stopped there for lunch.  Lots of folks from  southeastern New Mexico who take U.S, 380 to get to Albuquerque have stopped there as well. And people from all other parts of the state have made a special trip to feast on the legendary green chile cheeseburgers at the Owl Bar and Cafe in San Antonio, just south of Socorro.

It’s one of those places where the legend probably far surpasses what you actually eat.

When you go inside the rather obscure and largely unattractive adobe building on a dusty street corner in San Antonio, you are immediately greeted by the smell of greasy hamburgers being cooked on the grill. Once your eyes adjust to what little light there is in the dark interior,  you begin to notice the decorations on the walls — in particular the hundreds of $1, $5, $10 and even $20 bills stapled to the wall with messages written on them.

For more than 19 years. the owners of the Owl Bar and Cafe have collected the money stapled to the walls right before Christmas and given it to charity organizations.

This year,  Janice Argabright, the great granddaughter of the original owner, said they peeled $1,757 in money off the walls. It went to such charities as St. Jude’s Hospital for children, the Shriner’s hospital for children, Carrie Tingley hospital for children in Albuquerque and the New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranch.

In the 19 years they’ve been collecting the money, more than $33,000 has been  donated to charities.

Dollars collected this year came from people from almost all of the 50 united states — as far away as Alaska and Florida and from countries around the world.

As far as the tasty burgers, original owner Frank Chavez is credited with inventing them in 1945 when he splashed some hot sauce and then some green chile on a slice of cheese atop a hamburger patty. Now, it’s a staple of New Mexico cuisine, with annual contests at the New Mexico State Fair to determine which restaurant has the best one. I don’t think the Owl Bar and Cafe has won that honor recently, but you just can’t beat the atmosphere, the history and the goodwill coming your way when you stop there. And I think the burgers are still pretty tasty.

Unusual approach to hitching a ride to the airport…

A Las Cruces man wanted to go to the El Paso airport two weeks ago but became annoyed when he couldn’t find anyone to help him get there.

He came up with a unique solution, which instead of getting him to the airport, got him hauled off to jail initially and then ultimately to a hospital for mental evaluation.

What he did was set his apartment on fire, then called the Fire Department in hopes they would offer him a ride to the airport.

“Yeah, I lit it,” he confessed to the Fire Department officials who questioned him at the scene. “I couldn’t get anyone else to come out here.”

The suspect said he was trying to get back to Chicago after being in Las Cruces only five days. He claimed he was under the influence of drugs at the time of the incident and said he lit the fire with Aqua Velva after shave lotion. I’m suspecting that the pungent fumes from the 60s vintage after shave were enough to induce a drug-like reaction.

Unfortunately, his actions resulted in four other person in the same apartment complex to be forced out of their apartments right before Christmas. I fear that the next time they smell Aqua Velva, they’ll be programmed to quickly run for shelter somewhere safe.

Uplifting sports …

While my wife and I suffered through another painful Nebraska football season, we got caught up in the school’s highly successful women’s volleyball program this year. We watched every game we could get on TV and were rewarded for our faithful support when the Husker women made it to to the national championship match last Saturday against Wisconsin.

That the Husker women lost in a nail-biter of a five-set match to Wisconsin was not important in the long run. Most people probably didn’t even know the tournament and the game were on TV.

But what an uplifting experience. There was no drama over pouting players not getting enough playing time and entering the transfer portal. There were no stories about multi-million dollar coaching steals or buyouts. There were no deceptive comments about vaccination status. There was never a display of bad behavior on the playing field or court.

It was just incredibly good athletic ability on display by a group of young women who truly loved the game and their team.

I think that the athletic prowess of volleyball players far surpasses that of most other sports I’ve witnessed. They fly around the volleyball court in a syncopated precision. They smash the ball into the opponents’ court at up to 60 miles per hour. They dive and tumble on the floor to reach balls in contorted positions that would render me paralyzed. And not only are they amazing athletes, but they have more a sense of team than any other sport I’ve watched.

And at the end of each volley, whether they won it or not, they give each other high fives and were all smiles.

Four of the young Nebraska women really stood out to us. Lauren Stivrens, a senior from the Phoenix area who suffered through back surgery before she could return to the court as an All American this year. Lexi Rodriguez, a freshman All American from Illinois, who is the spark plug of the team’s defense. Did I mention she is just a freshman and is also the shortest person on the team? Nicklin Hames from Tennessee, a gum-chomping platinum blond setter who is amazing at setting up kills for her taller teammates and plays the entire game. And my favorite, Madi Kubik, from Iowa, who smashes the ball in all directions and comes back from every volley with a smile that looks like she is about ready to bust out laughing because she enjoys the game so much.

Two other freshmen, Lindsay Krause and Ally Batenhorst, are already starters and are certain to make the Huskers even more competitive next year. But as my wife pointed out, every player became our favorite at one time or another because they play so well.

Just to see these young women enjoy the game so much is worth the watch.

We’ve had great volleyball teams in our own back yard at New Mexico State University for years, and I feel sad to say I’ve never gone to one of their matches. I have friends who swear it’s the best athletic ticket in town. So we’ll go next year to watch.

But if you get a chance to watch Nebraska women’s volleyball sometime next year, please do so. As I said before, it’s just an uplifting experience.

It didn’t fit holiday mood I was envisioning…

Our grandchildren from Texas are visiting for the holidays, and as usual, we are busy with entertaining them. Their choice of activities today was to take the leaves they helped me rake up from our back yard to the yard waste/compost dump. No really, they were surprisingly excited about a trip to the dump in our pickup — they had been talking it up since finishing the leaf raking activity yesterday. 

Hannah, left, and Hayes, help unload leaves at the dump.

As we drove to the dump, I was livestreaming Christmas music. On the way back, Hannah, our seven-year-old granddaughter, politely asked if she could hear “Jingle Bell Rock.” Siri found it for me it and we played it as we headed home. Then, when the song finished, the squeaky voice of our three and one-half year old grandson, Hayes, made a request. At first, I thought I had misunderstood him, so I asked him to repeat his request.

“Can you play AC/DC?” he asked again.

Yep, that hard rock group, AC/DC. To say I was surprised and amused is a vast understatement.

So Siri found a greatest hits album and we jammed on AC/DC all the way home. “TNT.” “Rock Train.” And the holiday appropriate “Hells Bells.”

He loved them all.

 

 

They’re everywhere…

It seems that every Christmas holiday season, retailers come up with a new decorating trend that everyone wants.

Last year, I think, it was black and white buffalo check table cloths, wrapping paper, ribbon, bows, napkins, etc.

2021 is the year of the table top red vintage pickup with a Christmas tree in back. If you’ve done any in -person shopping, you’ve seen them — from Hobby Lobby to Tractor Supply Co. 

The ubiquitous red pickup with a Christmas tree in back

I went online to try to find out why this item has become so popular. The best explanation I found was that it invoked nostalgic memories of classic Christmas past. 

Here’s what I think. A nefarious group of retailers trying to separate money from our wallets meets secretly every year to determine what the hot item will be for the next Christmas decorating season. By February they have started planting seeds. If you see “Christmas in July” sales, start looking for the “next big thing.” Then right after Labor Day, it will start showing up on shelves. By Halloween, the item appears to be breeding like cockroaches everywhere we go. The message is that if you don’t get one to decorate for Christmas, you will be SO unhip.

But last time I looked at a couple of local stores, there were still lots of these things out there — with just a week to go before Christmas. Which brings me to the question of what happens to these items at the end of the season and shelves are starting to be restocked with Easter merchandise?

I think they could all be repainted red, white and blue and the Christmas tree  substituted with a big firecracker to create a Fourth of July decorating theme. Then when there are still lots left over after the Independence Day celebration, they’ll be put back on a boat to China, stored in some giant warehouse, be repainted green and  reintroduced as the next cool thing for Christmas in about eight years.

And the committee working on the Christmas 2022 decorating “must have” item is probably already brainstorming. How about chickens around a manger scene, camping trailers with Christmas trees sprouting from the windows or covered bridges festooned with holiday decorations?

I’d love to hear your ideas. Maybe we can cash in on it. I mean really, isn’t that what Christmas has become?

 

Not a nuts idea…

Colleges around the nation have been inspired by the success the University of Florida had years ago in licensing the sports drink “Gatorade” that was invented at the school. 

In our state, New Mexico State University has capitalized on its 1888 Pistol Pete Ale, as well as a recently released product called “Pistol Pete’s Six Shooter Rye.”

This week, Eastern New Mexico University in Portales announced it had developed a branded wine, coffee grind and salsa. The wine, said to be a sweet white variety, is called Eastern Sunrise. First off, not being a fan of white wines except for cooking, I suspect it might have the taste and consistency of Karo syrup. Also, the name suggests it should be enjoyed in the morning — maybe in my Mimosa, but not sipped alone at my breakfast.

The coffee is called “Greyhound Grind,” referencing the school’s mascot. And the salsa is called “Silver Dawg,” again referencing the school mascot.

So here’s my problem, other than wincing at what the wine might taste like. I don’t think grape wine production and wineries are rampant in Roosvelt County. I don’t recall any coffee beans being grown in that part of the state. And I can’t recall ever reading about chile being grown in that area.

So what do they grow around Portales? Peanuts. 

The first peanuts were grown in a field near the old Portales High School in 1914 and production has grown since then. Many of the peanuts grown in the Portales area were shipped to troops during World War II. There are currently at least three peanut producers operating in and around Portales.

So instead of wine, coffee or salsa, how about a Greyhound branded peanut butter?

From ENMU?

I’m going to trademark these following names, just in case ENMU follows my suggestion:

“Gray PeanutButter” (as in Gray Poupon); Fast Dog Peanut Butter; Peanut Butter for your Mutter (okay, really bad); Gray Dog Spread; No Jelly, but not dog poop smelly. Okay, I’ll quit.

I’d invite your suggestions and will give your full credit for your response.

And remember, if the stuff tastes bad, you can always give it to your dog and goof on them while they try to eat it. 

Strange things that come from Mexico to New Mexico…

Police at border crossings between the United States and Mexico, and at the U.S. Border Patrol stops outside Las Cruces, are always on the alert for illegal drugs.

So when agents at an El Paso border crossing spotted a nervous man driving a New Mexico licensed Ford F-150, they figured they should search the pickup. After a thorough inspection of the vehicle, they found what they thought would be a perfect place to hide illegal drugs — the space inside the spare tire.

Sure enough, there was contraband. It was eight tubes of Mexican bologna weighing about 36 pounds. 

Forgive me if I have this wrong, but cant you buy bologna in New Mexico?

Contraband…

This story reminded me of another tale that a good friend and former Dean at the New Mexico State University college of Agriculture, Consumer and Environmental Sciences told me about.

This story involved a man from Mexico explaining his process for smoking jalapeno peppers that he would sell in the United States. Traditionally, jalapenos are smoked over some kind of wood. The would be importer, in discussing his technique for smoking the peppers, confessed that instead of using wood, he was smoking them with burning rubber from old tires. 

The traditional way to smoke jalapenos...
The way to do it in Mexico???

Which brings me to my final point. In searching for a picture of bologna, I ran across this item.

Smoked???

I think I’ll pass on this if I found out that the jalapenos were sourced from Mexico.

Tailgating on trial…

The foundation of this story is basic New Mexico politics. An elected official in Rio Arriba County acting badly.

It starts with the conviction last week of Rio Arriba County Sheriff James Lujan for two felony counts for helping friend avoid arrest and pressuring one of his deputies not to tell other deputies about the incident. I won’t go into to any details, but you can look it up elsewhere if you’re interested in “politics as usual” in New Mexico.

But for Lujan, it was his second trial. The first, held in Rio Arriba County in the county seat of Tierra Amarilla, resulted in hung jury. The next trial was moved to Santa Fe, where the conviction was secured.

The decision to move the second trial to Santa Fe was made by District Judge Kathleen McGarry who granted a motion for change of venue. She noted that her decision was based in part on an “utterly inappropriate” outdoor cookout staged by Lujan supporters in the parking lot of the Tierra Amarilla County Courthouse during the trial. Tailgating during the trial as it were.

Not really the tailgate at the Tierra Amarilla courthouse…

Those of us who are really old at this point may remember the June 5, 1967, raid on this specific Tierra Amarilla Courthouse that resulted in several days of chaos in northern New Mexico. The circumstances involved individuals who were charged with a takeover of the Echo Amphitheater visitors’ site between Espanola and Tierra Amarilla. They were scheduled for arraignment at the courthouse that day. Their actions were prompted by claims from a fiery Hispanic leader named Reies Lopez Tijerina  that Mexican/Hispanic land grants in northern New Mexico were stolen by the federal government.

The takeover of the courthouse in Tierra Amarilla resulted in the state government moving in with heavily armed vehicles to secure the courthouse.  A good colleague of mine from my journalistic past, Larry Calloway, was held at gunpoint in a telephone booth outside the courthouse that day when the raid took place. He was trying to phone in a story about the arraignments. Those who were charged were never arraigned. It’s a long interesting story that I may write more about in future blogs.

These things seem to only happen in New Mexico, which is why I love this state. But I doubt there were any tailgaters that day in 1967 — only angry and terrified individuals. 

An unbearable tale…

First the details. A man riding a moped in a long, heavy black overcoat was reported to be terrorizing the town of Tucumcari earlier this month by spraying unsuspecting citizens and their vehicles with bear spray.

The weapon of choice in recent attacks in Tucumcari

Police issued a warning to citizens after several reports of attacks by the man on the Moped. On Nov. 12, the bear spray bomber stuck again, this time spritzing a truck being driven downtown by a visitor from the small nearby town of Grady. The truck driver pursued the man, only to be sprayed by the perp when he chased him down a few blocks away . The man with the bear spray then hopped on his Moped and managed to open the passenger door of the truck where he then sprayed a woman inside. She was taken to the hospital for treatment.

Police were alerted and gave chase. The man putting along on his Moped was eventually caught by police, but during the attempted arrest, the officer was slugged as the suspect grabbed the officer’s taser. Fortunately, the disabling device was not turned on and could not be used on the officer. A good Samaritan joined the fray and helped the officer subdue the suspect.

The man has been charged with four felony counts for his assault on the officer.

Which brings me to the following questions:

  1. Why would someone be carrying bear spray in Tucumcari, where I suspect the closest bear is several hundred miles away in the Pecos Wilderness.
  2. Why would someone choose a Moped as an escape vehicle.
  3. And if your heart is intent on living a life of crime by spritzing bear spray on unsuspecting citizens, then why would you not try to be more incognito than toodling around on a wimpy Moped wearing a dark heavy overcoat in a small town? Duh, don’t you think the citizenry would quickly note your presence?

The good news is that, as far as I have been able to determine, there have been no actual bear attacks in Tucumcari recently. 

And the escape vehicle.

Where can I get this kind of job…

For the past several weeks, my wife and I have been updating our living room with new upholstery for the couch, new carpeting and  different paint on the walls. As we sorted through hundreds of color chips for paint and many scrapbooks for upholstery and carpet, I became fascinated by the dizzying array of names for the colors you can select.

In the end, we selected a color called “magic dove” for the cushions on our couch, “calm” for the carpet color and “anew gray” for the accent walls. The rest of the walls are what I would call a “slightly off white” color, although I can’t find the official title of the color that we have used for years on most of our interior walls.

For our accent walls, we wanted something that was what I would call a light taupe — I would describe it as “a warm light gray trending toward tan.” I’m not sure the “anew gray” quite got what I wanted, but it’s on the walls now and I don’t think I’m interested in redoing it.

As we looked over the various shades of “taupe.” we found these breathlessly named offerings: “rumor,” “stone lion,” Italian straw,” “fortitude,” “mercurial,” hibernate,” “whirlwind,” “sweater weather” and my favorite, “skipping rocks.” There were literally hundreds more.

I recently read an article about jobs that most people don’t know exist, like creating bar code designs or naming medicines. Here’s another one — somebody, somewhere, has the job of coming up with names for each of the thousands and thousands of color samples for various fabric, paint and carpeting offerings.

So I’ve decided to try my hand in naming some shades of taupe that I did not see on the color chips. Here goes:

“Topiary Taupe” — with a touch of green to mimic those sculptured bushes.

“Tuscan Taupe” — with splotches of marinara red sauce and pesto green sauce.

“Torrential Taupe” —  tending toward a blue with darker gray, as in a rain storm.

“Tawdry Taupe” — a bit more blushing pink cast.

“Whipped Cream Tauping” — an almost white shade that smells like Redi-Whip.

“Trucker’s Taupe” — mixed with a light scent of diesel fumes and a sooty look.

“Temporary Taupe” — the color fades away shortly after you paint it on the wall.

“Iso-taupe” — gives off a faint green glow at night.

And my favorite: “Warm Light Gray Trending Toward Tan.”

They said it…

While poking around on the web I stumbled across a humorous quote about New Mexico that prompted me to look for other things that have been said about our state by both people who live/grew up here and those who visit or just pass through.

The one that caught my eye was made by Lew Wallace, territorial governor of New Mexico from 1878 to 1881 and author of “Ben Hur.” He said:

“Every calculation based on experience elsewhere fails in New Mexico.”

You may have heard some of these others before but I think they’re worth repeating and pondering.

“I know aliens from other worlds are required to arrive in New Mexico, but why stay there?” —  the late film critic Roger Ebert.

“I think New Mexico was the greatest experience from the outside world that I have ever had.” — author D.H. Lawrence.

“This remote New Mexico town (Roswell) had hit the jackpot. It didn’t matter that there wasn’t a shred of credible evidence to support the claim that a flying saucer crashed here. It didn’t matter that there were no credible witnesses to alien bodies.” — the late news anchor Peter Jennings.

“If mob law is going to rule, better dismiss, judge, sheriff, etc., and let’s all take chances alike. I expect to be lynched in going to Lincoln [New Mexico.] Advise persons never to engage in killing.” — legendary outlaw Billy the Kid.

“When Brian (Urlacher, former NFL star from Lovington) told me he grew up in New Mexico, I told him I thought it is cool that people from other countries play football. He corrected me on my geography and agreed to sit down with me anyway.” — formerly NFL quarterback and TV commentator Terry Bradshaw.

“What most people don’t understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That’s why they’re always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there’s possibly some connection between aliens and golf.” — rock star Alice Cooper.

“I lived in New Mexico until I was 17, and honestly I’ve been homesick ever since I left.” — author Liza Campbell.

“Well, New Mexico ain’t bad. People there, they treat you kind” — a line from the song “White Freightliner Blues” by Lyle Lovett.

“Poor New Mexico. So close to Texas, so far from Heaven.” — author Manuel Armijo.

And the best one of all, from the man who probably has the most memorable quotes, Mark Twain:

“Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.”

Helping tiny fish…

Many of my readers know I’m a fly fishing fan, although I don’t get out as much as I used to. I’ve been particularly interested in the recovery of the once endangered and now threatened Gila trout.

As a member of the Gila-Rio Grande Chapter of Trout Unlimited, I was asked by the organization to write an Op-Ed earlier this month on the recent introduction of legislation to declare large parts of the Gila watershed — both Gila and San Francisco Rivers — as part of the national Wild and Scenic Rivers system. The legislation was sponsored by New Mexico’s two U.S. Senators, Martin Heinrich and Ben Ray Lujan.

I’ve attached a link to the article, which appeared in the Nov. 14 issue of the Las Cruces Sun-News. Having written many articles over the years in my previous life as a journalist about efforts to save the Gila trout, I was particularly pleased to have this opportunity to continue to write on the subject. I hope the link works.

https://www.lcsun-news.com/story/opinion/2021/11/14/support-wild-and-scenic-designation-southwest-rivers/8596249002/

Worth its own blog…

My  regular readers might remember a blog I wrote earlier this year about quirky headlines that were not fully vetted before they appeared in print.

I found one in last week’s Albuquerque Journal worth adding to that list. It read:

“Pension board to probe member”

This was disturbing on many levels, but certainly memorable.

I thought of adding more comments but decided against it in the interest of good taste.

In the meantime, I’m wondering if the headline writer has had to undergo remedial training. Stay tuned, and I’m sure I will find more of these types of headlines to share with you in the future.