Author Archives: Patrick Lamb

My very good friend Victor in Albuquerque sent me this tantalizing tale from his “Nextdoor” neighborhood bulletin board earlier this week. Found chicken. Anyone missing a chicken? Caught a chicken in the middle of the road on Tramway and Copper. It’s really sweet, definitely seems like someone’s pet. So this raises all sort of questions,Continue reading “Well of course it was crossing the road… that’s what they do.”

At a New Mexico Department of Health holiday gathering four years ago, many of the 200 people who attended the Santa Fe event contracted food poisoning from eating the tapas served to them at the festive event. It turns out the event was catered by a woman who did not hold a license to caterContinue reading “Was it crow they ate?”

In the Sunday Albuquerque Journal want-ad section under “purebred dogs” was this confusing appeal: WANTED WOMEN TO BUY White German Shepherd or Black and Silver. We lost our pretty baby will be trained to be a service dog for an autistic boy. (505) XXX-XXXX Okay, I think I understand the desired outcome of this bunchContinue reading “Maybe the ability to construct a comprehendible sentence should be a requirement for dog ownership…”

Albuquerque has become a hotspot for local criminals to prey on travelers along Interstate 40 who stop in the city overnight on their way to or from some out-of-state destination. Many cars have been broken into at local motels and some vehicles have been stolen outright. The materials swiped from the cars is usually pawnedContinue reading “It was like a scene from a National Lampoon movie…”

About two weeks ago, I wrote about a mysterious pair of abandoned cowboy boots left in plain sight on our walk along one of the many irrigation ditches that meander through our rural/urban neighborhood. The boots were well worn, but could have been saved with a new sole. I pondered all kinds of theories onContinue reading “The game is afoot — or at least the boots are…”

A story in this week’s Albuquerque Journal reports that a search is underway for two suspects who flubbed an armed robbery attempt at a bank on the city’s west side. It seems one of the suspects, wearing the required COVID-19 face mask, entered the bank just before closing ostensibly to cash a check, but withContinue reading “I really don’t make up this stuff…”

In this morning’s newspaper, there is only one sporting event listed on TV, which makes sense since it’s the day before Christmas and most people have many more important things to do. And what is that event? Well, it’s the New Mexico Bowl. Only it isn’t being played in New Mexico. It’s being played inContinue reading “No wonder New Mexico is always at the top of those “worst” lists…”

Many of my friends can recall times when I broke into song with a familiar tune, but definitely unfamiliar and very silly words. Most of the time, this attempt at singing occurs after I’ve one too many glasses of wine or beer. I usually sing it around Christmas time, but have been known to singContinue reading “A Christmas gift to you…”

Last week, police in Las Cruces responded to a break-in call at the local Baskin-Robbins store. An alarm had been triggered when someone smashed a window at the ice cream parlor and when the cops arrived, they found a somewhat disoriented man wandering around the premises. He first claimed he had no knowledge about theContinue reading “I guess he had something else in mind when he wanted sprinkles on his ice cream cone…”

You may remember my recent blog about the fact that “buttload” is an accepted term for a measurement. Here is is, if you need to refresh your memory: https://aero-cordero.com/2020/11/25/a-brief-diversion-into-almost-bathroom-humor/ Well, someone in Albuquerque took this term to a new level about two years ago. A man riding a motorcycle was pulled over by a BernalilloContinue reading “Buttload, Version 2.0…”

Our golden doodle, Chester, turns three years old today. He still has lots of energy and acts like a puppy most of the time, but we’re okay with that. He gets better every day in responding to our commands. He thinks everyone and every dog wants to be his best friend, and a treat isContinue reading “From puppy to dog nerd…”

This last Sunday, my wife and I, along with our dog Chester, explored an unexpected geological treasure near Las Cruces. It’s appropriately called “Slot Canyon,” and as my wife noted, it looked like it could have been on the set of an Indiana Jones movie. It’s a very narrow canyon gouged by rushing water thoughContinue reading “We thought Harrison Ford might come around the corner at any minute…”

A faculty organizer for the 2006 Rio Grande High School homecoming dance was in charge of selecting a memento for the event. His choice — a shot glass. Following an apology from the school administration, the faculty member who selected the item said he “didn’t think students would actually use them for alcohol.” Um, sure.Continue reading “It was worth a shot…”

In 2006, an 8th grade student at Rio Rancho Mid High School was booted out of class for five days after he was spotted passing some kind of drug to his friends. The school had a zero-tolerance policy for drugs, so it required immediate action. When the drugs were turned over to authorities to analyze,Continue reading “His classmates must have been real stinkers…”